Handling Irresponsible Siblings


My sister has been self-absorbed all her life. She takes no responsibility for her hateful actions and constantly blames others for her actions. Our mother got a stroke way back in 2006. She refused to take care of our mother until now. My uncles take care of our mother because I am also working. I can’t help feeling resentment toward her for lack of concern and caring personality. She even abandons her own kids for the sake of her selfish satisfaction.

Since we are only two, basically, I am always the one who takes care of our family despite having a family of my own. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the hate that my sister feels toward me and the lies she has told to con other people. She wants to get sympathy from other people by blaming me. Last year, she almost died due to suffocation because the child in her womb died for already three days and she did nothing to resolve the problem. I was called by my family and asked what I can do to help her seemingly unstoppable bleeding. The first reaction was being angry because she did not take care of herself even if she was pregnant. Then I gave her money for her checkup. The result of her ultrasound examination showed that her bleeding was caused by failed miscarriage. She needed to undergo an operation to get the dead fetus in her womb or else she might die due to hemorrhage.

Fortunately, she survived without undergoing an operation. The baby was taken out of her womb through induce procedure. When she got out of the hospital, I advised her to be careful and consider the consequence of her actions. Because she and her husband were not in good terms, she left their kids in her husband’s care and find a job as a waitress of a barbecue house. Just a month after, she was impregnated by her coworker, a very young man of 23 years old while she was already 37 years old. I swore that I won’t help her anymore because I can’t tolerate such irresponsible behavior.

I really dunno what comes to her. Now her tummy is already 8 months. She asks money from me for her ultrasound and health care. Her so-called boyfriend left her a month ago. Now she is left alone with the burden of responsibility of raising the baby and the possibility of facing adultery charges from her legal husband.

Am I to blame for her circumstance?

When she needs me, I am always there for her. But she won’t listen to her family. She thinks that her family is bad and a hurdle to her happiness. Now, I am facing a bigger problem – where to get money for her delivery next month. She doesn’t have a single cent prepared. Her coworkers thought that I am a bad sister where in fact she is the one like that. She never appreciates the good things you do to her. She doesn’t even know how to say thank you for your efforts.

She does nothing productive in her life. She doesn’t care about her kids. She has 3 kids already. Now that she is pregnant, that would make them 4. She makes excuses and blames others for her situation. She blames me for not having a tubal ligation so that she won’t be pregnant anymore. She acts like a victim and takes no responsibility for causing her situation. She views me as manipulative and abusive sister although it’s the other way around. She even threatens me to end it all because there is nothing to live for anymore.

I allowed her to make her own choices. I never told her what to do. But oftentimes, I explained to her what her choices could lead her. But now I realized that she needs slapping for acting like a fool and doing something completely inane that will hurt others, especially her kids and herself. She needs shaking up a little bit to bring her back into reality.

I can’t always be there for her because I have my own kids too. But one thing is sure, she can count on me in times of need.

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