Dad threw wife a lavish baby shower – then took gift money to pay himself back


A man has been criticised online after claiming that he spent thousands of pounds on his wife’s baby shower and then kept all the money they were gifted in order to cover the costs

Man and woman at a baby shower
He threw a lavish baby shower (stock photo)

When having a baby, there are a lot of costs incurred – from buying nappies, bottles and other essentials your little one will need, to maternity clothing and nursery furniture.

Parents might even want to celebrate the upcoming birth by having a baby shower – however, the costs for this can be kept to a minimum if you so desire.

But one father-to-be has shared how he wanted to splash all the cash to throw his pregnant wife a lavish baby shower.

Taking to the internet, the anonymous man from the US explained that his wife had wanted a smaller celebration, but he wanted a bigger party, so he hired a venue and paid for everything, spending around £2,000 in total.

However, this isn’t what has caused him to be criticised – it’s his actions after the party that have sparked outrage.

He didn’t think he had done anything wrong (stock photo)


Getty Images/iStockphoto)

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Following the shower. the man says he collected up all the money they were gifted from their loved ones and put it back into his bank to cover the costs of the day.

Writing on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, he explained: “My wife (24F) and I (29M) are having our first baby boy. We are due in May, so we had our shower last weekend. Her family didn’t really plan the whole thing other than decorating so I ended up purchasing a venue as I wanted to make a big deal of this to make my wife feel special.

“I spent $2,500 on this venue which I was prepared to do and okay with. My wife wanted something smaller initially but I wanted to do the co-ed thing and invite my friends and family too. After paying for the place, my account was depleted and I won’t be paid again for two weeks. So I took all the cash we were given in cards and deposited into my account. We ended up getting about $1600, so I only ended up paying less than $1000 for the shower.

“My wife is upset about this because she feels as if the money should be used for more baby things and not to ‘pay myself back’, as she put it.”

The expectant parent says he told his wife he can’t have no money in his account for two weeks, to which she responded that he should have thought about that before spending all the money.

He continued: “She’s also upset because a majority of the money came from her family. I honestly just assumed any money we got was going into paying for the shower, and she assumed it would be for whatever else we didn’t get on our registry.

“I can’t help but feel like she is being ungrateful about the situation, but I also possibly should have planned ahead so I wouldn’t be left with no money. I will probably use the money on baby stuff anyway, however, I need gas and food money as well.”

More than 3,900 people responded to the post, with many agreeing the dad-to-be was in the wrong.

One person said: “You were not prepared for this. You have a baby on the way and you depleted your account for a party your wife didn’t want. You are the a**hole. Gifts from a baby shower are to help with the expenses of having a baby, not for you to throw a party for your friends. Grow Up. Your wife is about to have a baby, she doesn’t need to also be the mother to you.”

Another replied: “You’re 29 years old and you don’t know how to manage money. You expected to take all the money that’s supposed to go for the baby just because you paid for the venue? Then you dare to call your wife ungrateful for something she didn’t even want. Learn how to listen to what your wife wants and how to manage your money properly, especially since you have a baby on the way.”

A third posted: “If you didn’t want $0 in your account, you shouldn’t have taken that much out in the first place. That money was most definitely meant for the baby, not for you to get paid back the money that you spent on your unnecessary expensive baby shower.

“Also, who rents a venue that expensive for a baby shower? Either hold it in a backyard or a cheaper venue like most people do.”

Following the backlash, the Reddit user made several edits to his original post, updating people on how the situation and his thoughts on the matter had changed.

He explained that he didn’t realise it would seem like he was “stealing” from his baby and that they got a lot of baby items as well as the money at the shower, so he didn’t think he needed to buy a lot of things.

He claims the replies to the post have shown him he made a “rash and impulsive decision” and that he didn’t do it for his wife, but because he was feeling “insecure”.

“I truly did assume that money given at baby showers was to pay for the shower (like how ppl pay for their plates at a wedding), or for whatever we as a couple needed. I didn’t even think about the fact that the money is for the baby and didn’t consider putting it in a savings for him but I like that idea. I have never been to a baby shower so I didn’t know any better.

“Those of you who said I should suffer the next couple weeks are right. I will give the money to my wife and let her decide what should be done with it.”

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